Someone You Already Know: chapter sneak peak

This is my favorite chapter in the book, a conversation about who society is more unfair to: men or women?

     I decide to take the risk and see what happens. “I’m sort of having a fight with Elisabeth.”

     He raises an eyebrow. “Oh?”

     I stare deeply into my cup. It’s easier to be honest without making eye contact. “Yeah. She was involved with this guy for a while, and she broke up with him because she says he didn’t treat her right. I guess I just don’t understand…I mean, if he was as bad as she says, why didn’t she leave him sooner? She’s a smart girl, you know?”

     “Ahh.” I look up and see that he doesn’t look about to run away. He actually seems captivated. “Well, I don’t know anything about the workings of the female psyche. So I won’t hazard a guess for why she didn’t leave him. Not to defend this guy if he really was a jerk, but being the guy in a relationship is a lot harder than women think it is.”

     I feel my defenses tightening, and for a split second I wonder why in the world I thought talking to him was a good idea. But I can’t help it; I’m intrigued by his statement. “Really? Enlighten me, because in my experience, women are the ones who are unfairly judged and labeled when they don’t deserve it.” 

     Wow. I actually sound like I’m defending Elisabeth now. What is going on here?

     Trevor leans forward. “I have an older brother who went out with this girl he met at an animal rights rally. She was a feminist; a real piece of work, in my opinion. No offense. Anyway, she was really defensive about anything Thomas would do for her that was nice: holding doors open, pulling chairs out, helping her with her coat. Stuff I always thought you were supposed to do. But Kelly…man, she really hated when he’d do that. They broke up after two months because she was so radical, and I know my brother is a good guy.” 

     He shook his head. “I think it’s sad and funny the way women expect men to treat them with respect, but never give them a chance to do so because the media conditions them to assume we’re all predators. I’ve held doors open for women and gotten yelled at for it, because you know, they’re more than capable of opening their own doors. That’s actually what happened the night of that party. I saw a girl struggling to get through the door here at Starbucks with an armload of books, and she chastised me for treating her like she was made of china when I offered to help. So that’s why I was such a jerk to you that night. I was really angry.”

     And here I thought that my issues would scare him off. I feel like I should be angry by his assertion that most men are misunderstood. I feel like I should be telling him to spend a day in my shoes, see how the tables are turned.

     Surprisingly, I am calm and curious. “Okay, so maybe men are unfairly judged at times. But as a male, the world isn’t a scary place for you as it is for women. We live in a world where a woman is blamed if she’s attacked while walking alone and wearing a skirt, because ‘she should have known better.’ It’s not the same…”

     “Looks like men and women are both victims of injustice then. All of humanity sucks. Let’s drink to that!”

     I laugh, in spite of myself. “You know, maybe you’re right.”

     His smile morphs into a straight line suddenly. “Regarding Elisabeth…” He stares into his lap, and wrings his hands uncomfortably. “If women are taught to assume the worst about men – because you know, we’re all bad guys – well, the way her boyfriend treated her wouldn’t have shocked her much, would it? She probably thought whatever he did was normal. Think about it.”

     Once again, he leaves me speechless. He stands up before I can think of how to respond. “My break is over,” he informs me. With that, he places a tentative hand on my shoulder that actually felt caring, not threatening. “We’re not all bad guys, Katherine,” he said. “I think most of us are assholes only when prompted to be. Not by default.”

     I’m still speechless as he re-ties his apron and returns behind the counter.